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Posted 1:57am, Mon 2nd January, 2017 by Trafficchief
If you commute regularly on Lagos roads then you're bound to have encountered several colorful characters while on the road. Here's a list of 5 types of Drivers you will more than likely encounter while on Lagos roads.
1. The Speed Demons
Usually a young guy with a death wish. These guys have watched way too many car chase movies like the Fast and Furious franchise! They are occasionally middle-aged, don't know how to show restraint, and are yet to grow up and embrace adulthood. These guys literally think that every opportunity on the road is a race, they drag in every situation possible to show that they are the superior driver and to prove to you that you're not on their level. They treat any car ahead of them as a threat and seek out to overtake them on every occasion. In the event of an accident they NEVER concede, even if it's glaringly obvious that it's their fault. After-all, with such superior driving skills how could it possibly be their fault!? On rare occasion you will find women in this category and boy can they drive! Don't both trafficating in traffic to get in front of them, even if you were their own Mother they wouldn't let you in front of them, and will likely speed up instead to close the gap.
2a. The Driver (Oga Dey Car)
These guys are usually driving a big and expensive car, most likely to be a Jeep. But you can nearly always tell it's not theirs by the way they look, their clothes or the way they carry themselves. Although in some rare cases of money-miss-road they may actually be the owners. They are quite possibly the best type of Driver you'll ever find in all of Lagos! They navigate speed-bumps with gentle finesse and potholes with extreme accuracy. They always indicate before changing lanes and do so ever-so-slowly. They never over-speed and in every opportunity to drag for road they will concede willingly... but deep down you can tell that they're vexed. If they could they would memorize your car and face to ensure they get even with you on the next chance encounter when "Oga no Dey Car", which leads us to our next category.
2b. The Driver (Oga no Dey Car)
You can nearly always tell that these guys aren't the owners of the Car by the way they're driving. If you can afford a car upwards of N20m you wouldn't be driving it like a suicidal maniac! These guys don't send the fact that they're driving their Oga's car. In fact they take it upon themselves, as a sense of duty to push the performance car to it's limit knowing full well that Oga will never push the car to even a quarter of its potential. But they dare not try it when Oga is seated at the back. You may be thinking because it's an expensive car the Driver will concede in every situation where you're dragging for road... WRONG! They will try to drag for position to show you that even though they're driving a superior car, it doesn't mean you can bully them. Other people that may fall into this category are Mechanics returning cars to their owners or Cars that have been purchased and are being delivered to their customers. Some may even use the rare opportunity of driving such a luxurious automobile to pick up the ladies!
3. The Multitasker
The Multitasker is more likely to be a woman. We all know Women are much better at multitasking than men, but these women prefer to showcase their multitasking abilities behind the wheel of a car. They can literally be on their phone pinging or making a call, applying make-up, eating take-away and searching for something in their handbag while driving all at the same time! They're usually very careful and slow drivers though, not really up for speeding, but in times of dragging for road they drop whatever it is their doing and focus on the road 100% and go all out to prove that you can't bully her off the road just because she's a Woman, that she can drag road with the best of them! Hell hath no fury if you scratch their car though, they will jump out within seconds and give it to you irrespective of if it was their fault or not.
4. The Enlightened
These guys have found inner peace and true enlightenment. They have learned the secret of keeping their cool in the craziest of situations, Lagos Traffic included! They are often perceived by other "Road Warriors" as being weak and cowardly, backing out of confrontations on the road and conceding to defeat without even trying but in truth they are just plain matured! They drive moderately fast, take their time, always obey traffic laws, indicate before changing lanes, and in every opportunity to drag for road they concede willingly. They are the perfect drivers and no matter what you do you cannot make them mad, frustrated or annoyed. Really, even if you intentionally hit them with your car they will be very rational about it and will likely be more concerned if you're okay and uninjured.
At times however, and this is really rare, these guys can be provoked and may decide to prove a point. These seemingly pushovers will automatically transform into NASCAR drivers, almost as though some dormant power buried in their subconscious wakes up and all of a sudden you're like "WTF" as they start making moves you only see in Jason Bourne movies. After they defeat you on the road, you can't help but look at them and smile/clap at a well-deserved victory.
5. The Trailer Guy
These guys have graduated from driving sedans and jeeps like the rest of us and now drive lorries, trailers and buses (BRT). You would think given the size of these vehicles these Drivers would drive them slowly, carefully and considerately. Not in Lagos! The worst part about it is that they drive these behemoth vehicles like monster trucks. They drive aggressively, changing lanes abruptly and attain speeds that most drivers of smaller cars wouldn't even dare attempt out of fear of loosing control. Some brave few may try to drag road with the Trailer Guy, and a few daredevils actually succeed, but most fail and in some cases with grave consequences. Just let them be, these guys have a "nothing to loose" mentality and your pride is not worth your life.
What do you think about our list? Are there any other types of drivers you feel we left out? What type of driver are you? Drop a comment below!
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